The
Crooked Man
Mateus | Shirogane | Ward 12 - Plot 19
♣ ♦ ♥ ♠
A haven for the mysterious and maligned souls of society awaits you within; a sanctum in which you may socialise and skirmish without fear of scorn
Code of Conduct
By entering The Crooked Man you hereby agree to abide by the following statements.
Failure to respect the rules and atmosphere of the establishment will result in IC and/or OOC consequences on a case-by-case basis. Repeat violations will result in you being blacklisted from the venue.
OOC
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
Players and characters must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass other players/characters either IC or OOC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Please keep graphic descriptions of a sexual or gory nature private & between consenting parties
Lalafells are not permitted to engage in ERP of any kind on site
Shout/Yell are for staff use only
Please do not spam actions or emote log messages
Please dismiss your Minions inside the venue
IC
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
You must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass our staff or patrons, or ask them invasive questions unless invited to do so
Fights are to be kept inside the pit, the private chambers, or taken outside
Keep your pants on outside of private chambers
No destruction of house property
House Rules
By entering The Crooked Man you hereby agree to abide by the following statements.
Failure to respect the rules and atmosphere of the establishment will result in IC and/or OOC consequences on a case-by-case basis. Repeat violations will result in you being blacklisted from the venue.
OOC
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
Players and characters must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass other players/characters either IC or OOC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Please keep graphic descriptions of a sexual or gory nature private & between consenting parties
Lalafells are not permitted to engage in ERP of any kind on site
Shout/Yell are for staff use only
Please do not spam actions or emote log messages
Please dismiss your Minions inside the venue
IC
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
You must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
No killing, no dismemberment, no disfigurement
Do not harass our staff or patrons, or ask them invasive questions unless invited to do so
Fights are to be kept inside the pit, the private chambers, or taken outside
Keep your pants on outside of private chambers
No destruction of house property
Fights
By entering our ring or booking one of our fighters you agree to abide by the following rules of engagement. These rules apply to all public fights and may be applied to private fights at staff members' discretion
No killing, no dismemberment, no disfigurement
No endangerment of bystanders; you must keep your attacks to your your opponent only
No destruction of house property
Matches have a time limit of 30 minutes
Fights are conducted using /random rolls
Combatants are requested to use the /yell channel when in the ring during their match
The winner of a match is decided by the first contender to land 3 hits on their opponent, or else whichever combatant has landed the most hits within the allotted time
In the event of a draw matches will be decided by sudden death, each participant will roll and the higher value is the victor
If a fighter is inactive or does not respond ic or ooc for 10 minutes they forfeit the match
We ask that you keep the length of your combat emotes to a maximum of 2 posts
Only fighters and the fight coordinator may enter the fighting pit during business hours
Magic and unconventional abilities are permitted during matches so long as they abide by the other rules of engagement
Bounty Hunting
By challenging one of our staff in an effort to collect their bounty you agree to abide by the following rules of engagement
Bounty Hunts are fights that are free for a maximum of 1 hour and take place either outside or in a private room during business hours.
Both the target and the challenger must consent to the fight
Do not harass characters IC or players OOC to answer a challenge.
Targets are allowed to refuse a challenge (i.e. not consent) without providing a reason
The bounty fight must follow regular TCM fight rules
The format of a bounty fight is also the same as a regular pit fight; first to three hits or most hits in 1 hour. In the event of a draw then a decision by sudden death
Prizes are issued by the House, not by the target
The target will report to the management team when they have been defeated and provide a screenshot attestation before prizes are given out and bounties are marked completed
Private Services
By booking one of our staff members you agree to abide by the following rules. These rules apply to all private services be they sfw or nsfw
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and are not required to disclose their reasons to patrons
You must be 21 years of age or older to book private services with our staff
Explicit consent is required from both staff and patron before entry to a private chamber is granted
Service rates are decided by each individual staff member and are paid directly to them
The House handles all room bookings & reserve the right to evict patrons who behave inappropriately or make our staff feel uncomfortable or unsafe
There are no refunds once a transaction has been made and consent from both parties has been established
The Crooked Man
Mateus | Shirogane | Ward12 - Plot 19
Mondays | 6:00 - 9:00 PM PST | 9:00 - 12:00 PM EST
Services
Pit Fights
We at the Crooked Man understand the desire for a little recreational violence, and appreciate the thrill of a good fight met on even terms and in good spirit. During our business hours we invite our House fighters and patrons alike to partake in bouts of combat in our custom built - and heavily reinforced - fighting pit.One of our time slots per week is open for pre-registration. All other fights are booked on site during business hours. Once a fight has begun new participants will not be accepted, and registrations for each time slot closes fifteen minutes before that fight begins.Fight Schedule (PST):
Match 1: 6:10pm - 6:40pm
Match 2: 6:50pm - 7:20pm (Pre-reg)
Match 3: 7:30pm - 8:00pm
Match 4: 8:10pm - 8:40pm
Bounty Hunting
For fun and to keep our staff sharp, The Crooked Man regularly puts out bounties on their staff members, or they put bounties on each other which will earn a successful challenger a small prize. To see the available bounties, prizes and to receive updates, please join our discord.
Private Services
Many of our staff are available for hire for conversation, fighting, or as intimate companions for an hour or several. Our staff set their limits and their own rates, we merely provide a space in which to feel comfortable whilst you enjoy their individual skills and charms.
Private Rooms
Here at the Crooked Man we have a selection of beautifully decorated bespoke rooms in which you might choose to spend your evening alone or with company. The House asks only a modest fee of 80,000 gil per night for their use. Room fees are waived with the purchase of any other private service.
Your Company for the Evening
Here at the Crooked Man we employ a variety of colourful and charismatic characters, adept at a wide array of skills. Whether you require a drink, a conversation, or to pit your fighting prowess against another we have someone to fulfil your needs.Many of our staff are available not only for public rp on the main floors but can also be booked for a variety of private rp services. All inquiries are to be made at the main desk
Management
Somebody has to keep this House running smoothly.If you have any inquiries or issues please field them to one of the establishments proprietors. Be it big or small they are here to help
Nephi Blackwood
Occupation: Founder & General Manager
Age: 28
Pronouns: she/they
Sexuality: asexual
Race: hyur
Available Services:
SFW RP
♥
C'vett Tia
Occupation: Manager / Bartender / Fighter
Age: 26
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: miqo'te
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
Ashatai Dalamiq
Occupation: Pit Boss
Age: mid 20's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: xaela
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Vivian Hallows
Occupation: Manager / Bartender / Fighter
Age: 27 (?)
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: asexual
Race: miqo'te / viera (keeper/rava)
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
Staff
The House would be nothing without our weird and wonderful staff. During business hours they are here to attend to your needs and desires as befits their individual skills and interests.If you are interested in private rp with any of our staff please field all inquiries to the main desk
Fenris Ulfr
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 40-ish
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: viera
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Parisa Ahm
Occupation: Fighter
Age: appears in early 20's
Pronouns: she/they
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: dragon-chimera (presumed au ra / elezen)
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
Wright Claybourne
Occupation: Whatever
Age: 40-something
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: hyur midlander
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
G'raesyn
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 23
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: yes
Race: miqo'te
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Aku
Occupation: Recptionist
Age: centuries old - appears late 20s
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: lunar hare (veena viera)
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Y'zoro Tia
Occupation: Fight coordinator/ Mercenary
Age: 30
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: seeker miqo'te
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Lilac Birch
Occupation: Fighter
Age: "29ish"
Pronouns: they/them
Sexuality: demisexual (masc lean)
Race: veena viera (mostly)
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
Baba
Occupation: Salesman, probably
Age: Somewhere In the twenties… thirties… forties..
Pronouns: Any/All
Sexuality: How deep is your character’s wallet
Race: Miqo'te
Available Services:
SFW RP
♥
Chono Khirtelt
Occupation: Fighter / Announcer
Age: 31
Pronouns: they/he
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: xaela
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Varian Beaufoy
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 47
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: ???
Race: elezen
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
Cian Faelad
Occupation: Fighter / Security
Age: late 30's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: elezen
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Shard Tsurugi
Occupation: Fighter
Age: Late 20's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: Elezen(?)
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
Ra'mele Xov
Occupation: Fighter, Tracker, Smuggler
Age: 28
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: miqo'te, seeker
Available Services:
SFW RP / NSFW RP (discussion req.) / FIGHTING
♥
Porsche nan Cato
Occupation: Local prep-jock
Age: 82
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: viera
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Athos Cinderhell
Occupation: Floor Staff / Bartender
Age: wouldn't you like to know weatherboy
Pronouns: he/they
Sexuality: yeah (pansexual, male lean)
Race: jackal (veena viera)
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Dahlia Steele
Occupation: All-Rounder
Age: "26" (old)
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: "au ra" (dragon, formerly hyur)
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Yul Qestir
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 37
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: yes
Race: Au Ra
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Theo Draumur
Occupation: "Customer Service"/ Fighter / Medic
Age: 51
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: viera
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Fray Valkner
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 28
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: xaela
Available Services:
SFW RP / ERP / FIGHTING
♥
Xau’to Dakwhil
Occupation: Fighter
Age: 28
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: miqo'te
Available Services:
SFW RP / FIGHTING
♥
Menu
Food and drinks have a fixed price of 3000 gil per item.
Any additional gil offered will be considered a tip
Drinks
The Stampede
A flaming shot with a hell of a kick made with beer, amaretto, and overproof rum
Hunters' Moon
A sumptuous and sinful red cocktail made with golden rum, sweet red vermouth, bitters, and a splash of sweet dark berry juice
Witch Slap
A dark purple and blue drink made from vodka, ginger beer, pea flower tea, lemonade and mixed with a shimmery black edible lustre dust to help lessen the blow of this drink
Ectoplasm
A spectral green cocktail chilled to spooky perfection made with gin, cherry and herbal liqueurs, and a dash of lime juice
Black Magic
A potent drink with a full body and deep flavour made with dark stout, bourbon, pomegranate syrup, and a splash of blackberry juice
Red Sky
A light and refreshing drink with a piercing kick, made with spiced rum, strawberry juice, ginger beer and a splash of lime
Liquor
We have a wide selection of fine brandy, vodka, absinthe, gin, rum, tequila, and whiskey
Wines
The House offers an array of reds, whites, rosés, and rice wines
Spirits
Whatever your taste may be, our large selection of beer, ale, mead, and lager will leave you satisfied
Food
Salmon Skewers
Fresh caught salmon skewers marinated and drizzled with a sweet and sticky teriyaki sauce, topped with sesame seeds
Fried Pickles
Crispy, crunchy, sour, and with a little bit of a spicy kick. If you don't die in the fight pit, the grease on these pickles might drop you dead but in a good way, we promise
Pastry Fish
This fish shaped pastry is light, flaky, golden brown, and filled with a light chocolate mousse mixed with gooey brownie chunks baked with enough fogweed to make you say this fish ain't sh....
I Can't Believe It's Not Beef Burgers
A vegetarian-safe burger so packed with flavour and tasty trimmings, it'll satisfy even the meatiest of hungers. Served with a side of seasoned fries an a dip of choice
Pride Menu
A selection of specially prepared drinks for the Pride season.
Each order comes with a small gift to help you get into the celebratory mood.
---
Food and drinks have a fixed price of 3000 gil per item.
Any additional gil offered will be considered a tip
Bloodletter
La Noscean blood orange and grapefruit juice mixed with tequila and spiced simple syrup, topped with seltzer and lime, with a spicy sweet salted rim, this drinks guaranteed to give you a bloody good time.
Drop of Poison
Apple juice, pea flower simple syrup, seltzer and a generous helping of The First Bourbon, straight from our friends at The Still and Strings come together in this refreshing iced drink.We promise the name is just for fun. (Probably.)
New Moon
The perfect drink to sip in the summer sun - or moon - made from rum, ube halaya, coconut water and pineapple juice, topped with coconut whipped cream and crushed blueberries.
Spellbound
A spellbinding lavender and honey drink, full of frozen blueberries, mint, lime, seltzer and white rum, muddled, sure to inspire you to mix things up a little yourself.
Dreameater
Our dreamiest offering - fruity blue and pink blood orange, mango and passion fruit liqueurs mingle together in this boozey treat, topped with lemon-lime seltzer for a bubbley touch.
Fruit Bat
Sémillon dry white wine, courtesy of Bel Canto Vineyards, honey and lime for the base of this drink, filled to the brim with every colour of fruit under the sun. Chilled and topped with brandy and bubbles, the Fruit Bat awaits!
Pride Brawl
Looking for a bit of bloodshed tonight? Make your way to our reception desk to be paired up for a fight!Upon completing the fight, Wins will net you 2 points, a Loss will net you 1! Your points can be cashed in whenever you like at Reception, should any of our prizes catch your eye.
PRIZES
3 points = A Rare Dye
4 points = Orchestrion Roll
5 points = Minion
7 points = Emote
Lore
The Crooked Man stands as a sanctuary for the weird and the wonderful, as a place where misunderstood souls might find solace, companionship, and respite from a world often too eager to judge and revile them. All are accepted within our walls, so long as they abide by our rules and do no undue harm beneath our roof.
We who maintain this House welcome you, dear stranger, that you may soon become a friend.
Now a sanctum of the strange, and home to curious artifacts and individuals beyond counting, the Crooked Man was once a humble inn, owned and operated by one Shinju Shimizu.
(WIP) Something about how she and Nephi got associated
(WIP) A fun little excerpt about the paranormal investigators goes here
(WIP) This is where we put the bit about how Nephi bought the place and filled it full of freaks and weird shit.
(WIP) This will be a little excerpt about how the management got involved in all this
(WIP) This is a closing paragraph about the place now and a teaser for the future!
Oddities of Interest
Respect these rules or I'm going to burn your fucking house down. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillRespect these rules or I'm going to burn your fucking house down. Ut enim ad minim veniam,
Mini Games
Please do not link this page to patrons. This is a secret page just for staff where a repository of our current mini game carrds can be found and used as needed.
Bonfire Bracer
A beverage with a smoky scent and a flavor that varies from tongue to tongue. Whispers says the ingredients are unusual and otherworldly, but rarely does a practitioner share the trick of the arte. This drink comes with an unusual effect after drinking, but luckily for the drinker, it’s a short lived dream--merely a window of 30 minutes to a bell. May it brace an adventurer for stranger journeys. If one isn’t prepared for it or finds it unpleasant, the bar staff keep a Sobering Scent on hand--just ask for a whiff!
| Roll | Effect |
|---|---|
| 1 | A smooth vanilla taste with a sweet almost cupcake aftertaste. After a drink, you find yourself with a hungry itch to bite and chew. |
| 2 | Tastes like warm leaf water. Not tea. The backwash of tea perhaps. After a drink, there's a sparkle on your fingertips. In fact all your gestures are punctuated with a spattering of glitter. |
| 3 | The drink has a sour taste, not unlike dill pickle with a squeeze of lime. Suddenly small button mushrooms grow behind wherever you touch. |
| 4 | Your drink tastes like a well aged wine, smooth and contemplative. After finishing it, you find yourself magnetic, metal objects sliding toward you unless they're too heavy or held back. |
| 5 | Mmm tastes just like fruit punch! A kid would love this! As many kids tend to do, suddenly you've added about 3 ilms onto your height. |
| 6 | Your drink tastes distinctly of ceruleum and stale rye bread. The flavor might be awful but isn't the mood nice? You've got a sudden urge to spill your heart and thoughts out to someone around--regardless of whether you really know them or not. |
| 7 | You're positive your drink tastes like melted butter, whipped cream, and brussel sprouts. How you feel about that is up to you, but while you're contemplating that the bar seems to have gotten a bit higher. You've lost about 3 ilms of your height. |
| 8 | The drink tastes exactly like if you'd put your keys in your mouth for a few seconds. You look at your hand. You're holding a knife that wasn't there earlier. In fact, you can't seem to get rid of it or drop it for the next bell. |
| 9 | Down the drink goes, tasting exactly like a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. On the plus side, you find yourself able to understand every language spoken in the house. |
| 10 | Tasty! The drink tastes of a good age rum on the rocks--perfectly chilled even! The drink is so good, you can't even lie about it! In fact you can't lie about anything now! You feel compelled to tell the truth. |
| 11 | You can taste a combination of cream, coffee liqueur, and amaretto. That seems like a perfectly ordinary, tasty shot! It is not so ordinary however, as you're filled with a boundless amount of energy. Running around, running your mouth, however you get it out, sitting still and being calm will be a challenge otherwise! |
| 12 | Watermelon! Watermelon and lemonade are the flavors you taste on your tongue as you finish off the small drink. Suddenly someone nearby fills you with fear or concern, perhaps even dread! The fear is irrational and yet...who are they? Are you brave enough to find out? |
| 13 | In the glass the drink seemed perfectly normal but when it hits your throat it has the consistency of snail slime and tastes like chalk. As slow as it goes, the alcohol itself hits like a speeding chocobo. One little drink and you’re feeling very very drunk, despite whatever your regular tolerances are. |
| 14 | Down the hatch! It tastes kind of like chocolate milk and caramel... While you contemplate the overly sweet flavor, you open your mouth and nothing but lies come out. There's not a shred of truth to be had here! |
| 15 | The perfect drink. It's like the bartender's gifted you with a flavor you've craved for ages and not known about. Once the drink is down and you're satisfied a small crack appears between reality and the abyss--unseen by all but you. From the open sliver, a gift appears...Just for you! |
BEACH BASH
House Fighters will be stationed around the beach, available to be challenged!
Guests may also challenge each other - simply check in with a staff member so we can award you your points!Winning against another guest will net you 1 Point, and winning against a House Fighter will net you 2 Points per win!
PRIZES
3 points = A Rare Dye
4 points = Orchestrion Roll
5 points = Minion
8 points = Mount
Looking for a drink, or perhaps a booking? Our barstaff and reception will be more than happy to tend to you in the front yard of The Crooked Man.